Working With Parents of Bullies and Victims

Walter B. Roberts, Jr. - Minnesota State University, Mankato, USA

Other Titles in:
Anti-Bullying Strategies | Leadership & Management | School Counselling

January 2008 | 152 pages | Corwin

Disciplinary action is one of the most common reasons for bringing parents into schools, immediately putting both parents and school staff (counselors, administrators, and teachers) on the defensive. This short book is intended to help educators move toward effective and necessary collaboration by expanding their skills in talking with parents about the thorny subject of bullying. In direct, realistic language, Working With Parents of Bullies and Victims explores the concerns and frustrations of both parties. In addition, the author offers practical strategies to help educators initiate and carry through conversations and interventions with all types of parents, from persistent to resistant and anywhere in between. Readers will find numerous sample dialogues, as well as vignettes written by parents of bullies and victims.

Preface

Acknowledgments

About the Author

1. Every Parent's Nightmare--and Yours, Too!

Who Will Benefit From This Book?

The High Cost of Ignoring the Problem

How Educators Have Overlooked Parents as Partners

How to Use This Book With Parents

2. What Bullying and Teasing Do to Everyone--Kids, Adults, and Communities

Death Comes to Lake Wobegon

When Intervention Stops Tragedy

The Pain That Resonates to the Bone

How Everyone Loses When Bullying Occurs

3. Why Parents Complain About Schools' Responses to Bullying

Parents' Attitudes Toward Public Schools: The Statistics

About Those "They Didn't Do Anything" Claims

Documenting the Facts on Interventions

4. How to Talk to Parents Whose Children Are Bullied

Parents of Bullied Children: The Two Camps

Working With the Actively Involved Parent

Working With the Less Actively Involved Parent

The ?Inverted Curve? and Tension Cycle

5. How to Work With Parents Whose Children Bully Others

Some Things to Keep in Mind About the Families of Aggressive Children

Television?s Impact on Children and Bullying

KISSing a Plan Increases the Chances of Success for Everyone

6. The Parent Who Refuses to Cooperate

Subverting the Dominant Paradigm

Conflict Resolution With Parents Who Refuse to Cooperate

Eleven Global Approaches Toward Conflict Resolution

7. Types of Difficult Parents

The Parent Bully

The Silent Treatment

The Staller

The Negative

The Complainer

Know-It-Alls

Angels

What About Mediation and Negotiation?

8. Helping Parents Talk at Home With Their Children About Misbehaviors

Helping Parents Understand Punishment, Accountability, and Restitution

Restorative Justice

Helping Parents Help Their Child to Think About Righting a Wrong

What Happens After That First Step?

9. Seven Talking Points for Helping Parents Talk to Children About Being Bullied

Talking Point 1: Help Parents Understand the Importance of Listening to Their Child?s Concerns About Bullying and Teasing

Talking Point 2: Asking the Right Questions Will Likely Increase Parent-Child Communication

Talking Point 3: Parents Want to Obtain as Many Details as Possible in an Understanding Fashion

Talking Point 4: Parents Need to Assure Their Children That They Will Work With Them to Find a Solution to the Problem

Talking Point 5: Parents Should Ask the Child?s Opinions and Concerns About Discussing the Situation With School Personnel

Talking Point 6: Encourage the Child Not to Respond to Provocation With Violence

Talking Point 7: Parents Should Encourage Their Child to Ask Those in the Supervisory Capacity for Assistance

10. Fair Expectations of Parents and Educators in Solving the Problem of Bullying

Fair Expectation 1: Not All Bullying Behaviors Can Be Stopped or Prevented

Fair Expectation 2: Once Bullying Has Been Reported, the Parent Has the Right to Expect the Supervisory Authority to Investigate the Concern

Fair Expectation 3: Parents Expect the Supervisory Authority to Investigate the Concern

Fair Expectation 4: Appropriate Intervention Will Take Place If the Concerns Are Validated

Fair Expectation 5: The Supervisory Authority Will Communicate With Parents as to the Outcome of the Intervention

Fair Expectation 6: Never Forget Fair Expectation 1?Not All Bullying Behaviors Can Be Stopped or Prevented

11. The Courage to Act

References

Index

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